So during the month of January I have been spending my time traveling for work and it's given me a chance to learn a lot about myself. My life coach/therapist suggested I read The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown right before my trip. So I got to it and purchased the e-book on Amazon so that I could save room in my luggage. It's a pretty easy read and only took me a week in between work. I thought I would share a little bit about it with you!
When we become more loving and compassionate with ourselves and we begin to practice shame resilience, we can embrace our imperfections. It is in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts: courage, compassion, and connection.
These 3 gifts are talked about quite extensively as Brown shares definitions, or data, she gathered in her qualitative research. It brings to mind 10 Guideposts that help to enrich our lives "wholeheartedly" and to love ourselves better.
Something I really like about having an e-book is having easy access to what I've highlighted. Here is one quote that really sums up what it means to "self-love". Something I really need to work on:
If you look at the definition of love and think about what it means in terms of self-love, it's very specific. Practicing self-love means learning to trust ourselves, to treat ourselves with respect, and to be kind and affectionate toward ourselves.
I personally needed to read this because I was noticing how toxic my personal thoughts were toward myself. After social encounters, I will analyze whole conversations and pinpoint where I could have said this, should have been like this, and then obsess about it for hours. If it's not in social situations it's even when I am home alone sitting there beating myself up for not being more productive, forgetting stuff, and just. not. being. enough. Reading this book helped me realize how unkind I am with myself. It was a real eye opener!
Shame needs three things to grow out of control in our lives: secrecy, silence, and judgement.
Shame is one sneaky fellow. A while back I shared a post about what I thought of shame. Since then I have learned a whole lot more about what it is and what it takes to remove it completely from life!
We need to talk. Shame cannot survive if we are sharing (connection), reaching out (compassion), and having the courage to call it like it is. Through each chapter (10 Guideposts), you will find tools to become content with who you are. This book is more than a self-help book, it calls imperfection and shame like it is. Just reading the book won't fix it all overnight. It takes time, diligence, and a whole LOT of prayer. I, too, am still figuring it all out. If you have any other questions about this book, please feel free to leave them in the comments section. Other book suggestions, please share too!