I don't know about you, but I like to have deep relationships with those I care about. I like one-on-one conversations about dreams and goals. When it comes to my relationship with God, I still want this. The only thing is, I have found it harder to connect with Him and it has made me doubt. If you have a hard time too, what are some things that make it hard? One of the reasons why it has been hard for me is the fact that I can't see His face. Seems basic, but as a visual person, it really affects me. But you know what? God showed up. Let me show you how:
A few weeks ago I started studying more about the Holy Spirit and what His job is. I love studying about Him, but this one week was different. Chris and I are in the process of moving to a whole new place and it has been stressful not knowing where we should live. So when I found several Bible verses (1 Corinthians 2:9-13, Deuteronomy 18:18, Micah 3:8) explaining how the Holy Spirit gives out wisdom, knowledge, understanding and life... I honed in BIG time. I was like, "I need this!"
I started to practice requesting wisdom, based off of what I had been reading. I requested it in little decisions while working on creative projects. I requested it when making bigger decisions like buying a new car. Each step of the way I became more confident in the wisdom that God was giving us. Especially as we started house shopping in New York a few weeks ago.
While I would plead with God in the car for wisdom, after looking at houses that just weren't making the cut, I found myself paying special attention to Him. I was on the lookout for His next move and the next thought He would inspire me with. I felt incapable of making decisions and totally inept in knowing how to express to our realtor what we wanted (I am horrible in verbal communication). I basically presented myself before God, saying "you do it God, I can't." When this happened, He showed up.
It came in simple ways. Like when I thought of a new way to filter houses online or all of a sudden could spell out our next move with our realtor. Or when, after speeding through this really overwhelming house, both Chris and I looked at each other and said, "I hate to admit it, but I kinda like that house," and "you know, that place really fits all that we were looking for."
You see, while I was requesting wisdom from God, He was giving me more than just the smarts, He was revealing to me how He works. What He does day in and day out. His creativity in timing and knowing exactly how to move my heart. You know how the wind is used to describe the Holy Spirit moving? Well, now I see more than wind. I am starting to see the hand of God over everything and in everything. He doesn't just want to help us make right decisions, He wants to show us His presence. He wants me to see His face just as much as I want to see it.
Remember how Moses wanted to see the Lord on the mountain? And how God said he could only see His back? You see, God's glory is so strong that it can kill us, in our sin, if we see His face. So He has to show Himself in other ways. In the last 2 months I have seen His "back" and it has made me more courageous in my prayers and confident in Him. No more crazy guessing about His will. No more wondering where He is and what He looks like. This verse couldn't be more relevant right now:
Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him. - 1 Corinthians 2:9
I invite you to ask for His wisdom, because then you will see Him more powerfully than ever before.