I have had this deep desire for God to strip me of my fear and give me a heart that is open and ready to create. I have been a bit impatient. I still have fears and get anxious about things I had no idea were an issue, but He is working. In His care, He is changing this heart that wants to be free. It isn't how I thought it would be, but then again God is the one that is creative in knowing how to change my worry wart heart. So the other night, Wednesday to be exact, my friend Jackie (who is a writer here) posted on Facebook that there was going to be a JJ Heller concert, during a small women's retreat, about 2 hours west of me.
I don't usually jump at things so quick, but there I was writing on the post that I wanted to go. I thought to myself, why shouldn't I? So I did. I even bought myself a ticket online. Usually I panic and have to have Chris buy things online for me. Seems strange for some, maybe, but I get anxiety over new things. It is so engrained in my heart sometimes, that I don't even know that I am shutting down ideas, opportunities, and risks. God had other plans. He got me to get up the courage to purchase the ticket online and set up a meeting spot so that I could catch a ride.
While I did nervously pick at my nails the whole night and looked at the luminous green sky through the tent flaps (Yes, the concert was under a tent out in the countryside of Lancaster County. Awesome right?), I enjoyed myself. There were so many beautiful and simple things that I learned this night. I thought I might share them with you.
- God reveals Himself so beautifully through a group of women. Since He is mentioned as a man in the Bible and came to earth as a man, it is hard to picture Him as being like us ladies. I saw it and it was awesome.
- JJ Heller talked about how when she was younger she always thought of herself as an athlete. Then one day, her success as a basketball player ended and she had no where to turn. She expressed how God gave her something new to do and here we are. It gave me courage to know that God has so many creative opportunities up His sleeve for me, and you!
- I got to see again the beauty of God being worshipped through a gift that He gave to JJ Heller and her husband. When you are called, it looks so natural. It takes a lot of hard work and challenging days, but in the end it looks effortless. That's what I love seeing.
- God showed me that I needed to stop, pay attention to those around me and see how intricate their lives are. I have such high expectations for myself that it often rolls over into my relationships with others. I had the opportunity of sharing this experience with women who are valuable jewels that I now know more. Charity, Beth-Anne, and Jackie - you are a gift from God to me. Even if we have known each other for a short time, I enjoyed taking my simple risk with you.
God doesn't stop amazing me. I think that when we embrace our creativity and stop putting ourselves in these cookie cutter expectations and take a healthy risk, we can see how creative God is in reaching us. He won't stop at anything to woo our hearts. For me it was a last minute concert set in the country side, which is my favorite! For you, it could me something else.